Conflict Resolution 2

The task of a leader is to create a synthesis between the needs of the group, the need to implement the vision in the specific objective circumstances that you find yourself in and the value systems that the individuals are using.

The language used is critical - if you (or others) use "me" language around "we" people they will sulk, sabotage, use passive aggression and generally thwart positive developments.

If you use "group" language with "me" people they'll perceive you as weak and you'll run a real danger of loss of control and marginalisation through them ignoring you.

These issues are quite real and need to be handled effectively.

In his book The Strategy of the Dolphin, Dudley Lynch came up with a nice little way of looking at this. He characterised the self orientated mindsets as Sharks and the group orientated mind-sets as Carp - mainly because the self orientated group see them as victims and the fact that they try and see themselves as victims also. He identified involvers as "pseudo-enlightened carp" and choice seekers - who integrate systems and people skills as dolphins.

Being a dolphin is reckoned to be a good thing because it means you can use any of the previous mindsets as required. Dolphins combine the insights and instincts of fairness of the involver with the mental toughness of the sharks. They believe in self expression but not at the expense of everyone else and combine systems thinking with empathy to try and build situations that work.

What this means for conflict resolution and leadership is shown in the next diagram.
Essentially in a confrontational situation sharks will use take over or trade-off, carps will get out or give in while "pseudo-enlightended" Carp use a combination of Trade-off or Give in.

A Dolphin by contrast might use all of them as required and will go for Breakthrough and a true win-win if the issue is worth taking the time over.



It's important to be aware of who you're dealing with - when times get hard Sharks will instinctively try and do more of the same harder while Carp will bury their head in the sand.

Environments full of shark behaviour display lack of awareness of the real position, burn-out, stress, denial and continuous motivation meetings in a blame culture. The entire focus is on results.

Environments that are carp dominated have an air of doom, buck passing, superficial niceness covering up back-stabbing. There's a lack of completion, lack of learning and a tendency to wait for salvation. The entire focus is on maintaining relationships with people like us.

A successful organisation will need to bring these tendencies into balance. This is your task - to harness the energy of the individualists for the benefit of the whole and to keep the glue that's necessary to keep any organisation together from gumming up the works.

Tomorrow we'll finish off by looking at the mindsets typical of different types of organisations

alan

Dr Alan Rae - Founder - Howtodobusiness.com
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